What was the point in all that? Part 1

On Lucky’s big party day, I started the day early by zipping down to the nearest Tesco mega store to get everything we needed for the ‘open house’ party. I jumped straight from bed to car, without stopping to shower, figuring I’d do all that when I got back. Biker Boy was going to barbeque for everyone so I had to secure burgers, baps, dogs and buns before they all disappeared as the Nation went into barbeque mayhem as the first rays of sun promised a glorious day ahead.

The massive Tesco car park was already a hive of activity by the time I got there. My first challenge of the day came about trying to find a car space as close to the store as I possibly could. For the first time, I wished for Lucky or Cheeky to be with me to make use of the Parent/Toddler parking, but my conscience wouldn’t allow me to make surreptitious use of one of these spaces. So I kept rotating. And rotating. And rotating. I became fixated on circling a few lanes, so determined was I to get as close as possible to the entrance. Finally! I saw an early bird who had completed her shopping head back towards a car in one of my lanes (see how possessive I had become?) I slowly stalked behind her, waiting for her to come to a stop at her car, not sure at this point whether to indicate left or right to stake a claim on my space. It took me a while to clock that she was actually lost, but I crept alongside of her as she rounded the corner into the next lane, finally spotting her car on the left-hand side. I frantically whacked my left indicator on as I spotted a lane ‘hoverer’ further up. ‘Not on your nelly’ I thought as the driver started to edge forward in preparation for pulling into my space. We were facing each other head to head and I mouthed ‘I am going in that space’ while pointing my finger at it. Luckily, Lost Lady unpacked quickly, and reversed out, effectively blocking the Hoverer and I was able to nip into said space, but did catch a glimpse of Hoverer giving me the birdy in my rear view mirror.

All this had eaten 20 minutes up that I didn’t have to spare, so learning from past experience, I headed straight to the bread department to secure burger buns and hotdog rolls, as I needed a whopping 40 of each. Well, we had invited 32 children and their parents – and what with the no-replies, I wasn’t sure how many people would actually turn up, so best to be prepared! Next, I secured the burgers and sausages, and so felt sufficiently relaxed enough to go back to the entrance of the store and start my shop in its natural order round the store.

It was getting very busy, and by the time I got back round to the meat section, I noticed a distinct absence of burgers and felt pleased I had secured what I needed already. I parked my trolley, and went down the aisle to choose a chicken for Sunday lunch. Whilst squeezing a few chicken breasts, through the din of the store, I heard an excited, high pitched boy’s voice saying ‘here’s some hotdog rolls mum, how many do we need?’ I turned just in time to see him make off with two packets of my rolls, pilfered completely unashamedly out of my trolley! Well, I moved back up that aisle quicker than Coulthard in an F1 race shouting ‘excuse me, excuse me, those are my rolls you have taken out of my trolley.’ When I caught up with him, he had just handed them to his mum. ‘Sorry,’ I said (why was I apologising?) ‘but your son has just taken those rolls out of my trolley!’ She held onto them for a split second longer than she should have, obviously weighing up whether to put up a fight or hand them over, but one look at my frazzled, un made-up face made her rethink, so she handed them back without so much of an apology. I was livid, and snatched them from her so hard I left a permanent thumb print in one poor roll.

Bagging up and paying was fairly non-eventful, and I was pleased to get back home before 11am. The party was due to start at 3. As I drove up the drive, I saw Biker Boy looking non too happy, wearing his work clothes carrying some long, stick-like thing in his hands. ‘Drains are blocked’ he shouted as I drove past. ‘Have had to get the rods out.’ Well, I could have guessed that as I got a strong whiff of a very unpleasant smell the nearer I got to the house. ‘Oh shit!’ I shouted. ‘Exactly’ said Biker Boy. ‘And Cheeky’s been putting baby wipes down the toilet again’…

OK, sorry to leave you hanging, but I need to log off now as I am going out, so to be continued tomorrow!